Chazography

It seems to be an increasingly common occurrence. I find my sleep cycle to be drifting farther and farther away from that of the common individual. In fact, I’d be worried if I found two puncture wounds on my neck and noticed I was developing an extreme aversion to sunlight. So far, however, I haven’t noticed any such symptoms so I’ll go ahead and breath a brief sigh of relief. Just to be on the safe side, I might start wearing garlic and a cross around my neck. You know… as an early indicator of any strangeness on the horizon.

How did my circadian rythms become so misaligned you might ask. I think it’s a result of my “work mode” not kicking in until sometime after the witching hour at which time I’m forced to do all the work that normal people do earlier. This type of action leads to a deprived state of energy around the time most others are awaking from their slumber. Yes, I know it’s rather strange, but it may be the curse of the geek. Afterall, I don’t need daylight for my computer to function, and in fact, direct daylight can often hinder the viewing angle of my screen! Arrrggghhhh, the light…. the light… too… much… light! After many seconds of intense thought, I think I’ll term this disease “geeke nocte”. Yes, I know. It is oh so clever, and my Latin is oh so incredible!

For all fellow sufferers of this disease, fear not! Let us no longer consider that our sleeping patterns are out of alignment, but rather, consider that we are preparing for the future. Afterall, the Sun will burn out in about 5 billion years, and we will be ready for it! Okay, so there’s that small issue of temperatures reaching absolute zero and all life on Earth coming to an end, but hey, that’s a trivial detail!

Even if I don’t live until the Sun burns out (which I fully intend on doing), I can boast that I am quite familiar with the TV programming at odd hours of the morning. Who’d have known that advertisements for Girls Gone Wild come on every single channel at such hours! I certainly didn’t! You’ve got to admit that’s some useful information. Just think of all the things you’d learn if you stayed up that late every night!

Maybe one day I’ll remember what it feels like to be awake at a normal hour of the day, but I have a strange feeling that won’t be anytime soon.