Deep Thoughts

I understand perfectly well that most of my readers visit this site in search of direction and guidance to life’s many perplexing questions. As a courtesy to you, the reader, I thought I would dedicate this post to one of life’s most ambiguous and crucial questions. I’m sure that many of you out there have wondered why hot dogs come in packs of of 10 while hot dog buns only come in packs of 8. Yes, I know. It makes no sense, but I must ask you that you have patience, grasshopper. I shall make sense of this truly monumental question in time.

Let me first start by discussing the essence of the hot dog as this is the first step towards sovling the product at hand. Do not let the name fool you. These products are not made from excessively attractive nor overly heated canines. In fact, these treats are not even derived from dogs at all, but rather, this global treat is made from a mix of meats, fillers, and assorted spices. So even in its original design, the very product that is a hot dog is an incredibly bewildering beast, and it could be postulated that its creators wanted to extend this ambiguity by avoiding a 1:1 hot dog to bun ratio. However, this would be an incorrect assumption ultimately leading to delusions of veritas, but alack, I digress.

You see I have discussed the ingredients of the hot dog because they give insight into the targeted hot dog consumer. And just who is this intended group you might ask? Quite simply it is the lawn gnome population. I am quite aware that many of my readers are probably not familiar with lawn gnomes or their dietary habits, and hence, I will undertake the job of educating you as it is paramount to understanding the problem at hand. Lawn gnomes are terrifying creatures whose evil tendencies have been well documented in horror novels and films since the dawn of well… novels and films. Their seemingly innocent, adorable features are a facade meant to deceive the casual observer. These monstrous beings have a lust for one thing and one thing only. 100% USDA Grade A Beef… and undergarments. Okay, so that’s two things. My bad.

I’m sure that many, if not all, of you have been victims of vanishing socks, underwear, or other miscellaneous undergarments. If so, you have fallen prey to a nefarious, diabolical, villainous, evil, satanic lawn gnome! Yes, it’s a horrible, horrible atrocity. Some of you may have been unfortunate enough to have had a prime piece of beef disappear from your personal meat locker or refridgerator, and I feel for those who have been the subjects of such an injustice. It was a result of a rampant case of meat and underwear thefts in the early 1930s that resulted in the creation of the hot dog. The hot dog was designed to satisfy the cravings of insatiable lawn gnomes since it was so cheap to manufacture. However, in order to be effective, it was determined that one need use packs of 10 hot dogs as that was the sweet spot for gnome satisfaction. So we have now established the origin of the number of hot dogs per pack.

The hot dog bun came shortly after. The hot dog’s creators decided it would be quite profitable to market these new mystery weiners to the human population, and given the popularity of sandwiches at this time, it was a logical step to create the hot dog bun. During this period, however, bakeries could only manufactured items in multiples of 8, and it would have been extremely costly to change the manufacturing process. Hence, buns were manufactured in packs of 8.

Though there have been many advances made in the field of baking technology, bakeries even now are only able to manufacture buns in multiples of 4. Therefore, it is not within the grasp of bakeries to manufacture buns in a 1:1 ratio to hot dogs, and this is the reason why hot dog buns come in packs of 8 while hot dogs come in packs of 10. It is truly a fascinating phenomenon, and one on which I have spent many, many years researching. Luckily for you, I have decided to share this information, and thus, you now know the answer to one of life’s most enigmatic questions.