Chazography

eBay can be a great thing, but when motivated by greed, it can also be a horrible, horrible service. Since the Xbox 360 is sold out across the nation and appears to backordered until next year, I wanted to see just how many Xbox 360s were available on eBay and how much (on average) people were selling the device for. What I found absolutely shocked me (though it really shouldn’t have). There were 7,660 Xboxes for sale on eBay, an awful lot of systems for an item that is sold out everywhere, and these are only the ones that haven’t been sold yet. There’s no telling how many have already been sold, but I’m sure a little research could shed light on that question. However, what shocked me most were the prices that people were trying to charge for this item. Check out this screenshot of one seller’s price.

YES! You read that right. That seller actually has the Buy It Now price set at $4,999! The same system he or she is trying to peddle for this exorbitant price is/was/will be available in the store for $399. That is a 1,252% markup in price. People are simply snatching up consoles fully intending to turn around and scalp them. This same activity is illegal at a sporting event, but for some reason, it’s perfectly legal to do it here. I don’t quite understand that disparity. I mean we’re not even talking about entrepreneurship but out right price gouging!

Any seller trying to make exorbitant amounts of money by ripping people off on eBay should be taken out to pasture and forced to swim in a huge pile of dung… naked. Then they should be flown Antarctica (still covered in dung), abandoned, and left to freeze to death. This would allow them to be remembered for the “turdcicles” they are, and it goes without saying that the world would be a much, much better place in their absence.

Of course, they aren’t the only ones to blame. If it weren’t for the stupid idiots who buy those sellers’ items at ridiculous prices, the market would force the prices to come down. So to make sure such criminal activity never happens again, we’re also going to take all the “crapwads” willing to pay $4,999 for a $399 console and use them as test subjects for medical research. Afterall, if they’re stupid enough to get ripped off on eBay, they’d probably be more useful to humanity as medical test subjects anyways; heck, one of them may even be the subject that finally leads to a cure for cancer or something, and that might actually give some meaning to their life.

Anyone who agrees with my ideas, please write to your Congressional representative and petition for him or her to pass new legislation to enact my brilliant plan. Actually, scratch that. Congress is worthless… but that’s a topic for another day.