Chazography

As I was unpacking a bag recently, I realized that I’d accidentally packed an item from a hotel I stayed over the Christmas Break. Somehow a small hotel sign managed to find its way into my luggage, and I’m not really sure how. Nonetheless, it did, and so now I’m officially a thief. Not by choice mind you but purely by a simple mishap. Honestly, why in the world would I want a hotel sign? I guess it’s pretty cool and serves a functional purpose, but that’s beside the point. Since I don’t smoke and it is a non-smoking sign, it might be a good thing to put out when people decide to visit my dorm room (which is supposed to be non-smoking anyways).

In any case, now that I’m a thief, and I have this stupid sign. I thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and think of some fun uses for it. So below I’ve compiled a short list.

Top 10 Things To Do With My Hotel Sign

1. Use it as a door stop.
2. Plant it in someone else’s room and call the hotel police.
3. Mount it on my forehead so everywhere I go will be designated a non-smoking room.
4. Turn it into an oversized guitar pick for the Green Giant.
5. Sell it to ACME so they can drop it on a cartoon character.
6. Turn it into a sled for smurfs (’cuz smurfs rock!)
7. Use it to fend off evil lawn gnomes!
8. Add it to my pile of coasters (a.k.a., AOL CDs)
9. Paint it gold and sell it on eBay for lots of money (those people will buy anything!)
10. Sell it to T.G.I. Friday’s to put on their wall of stuff/junk.

I believe now would be a good time to go ahead and change my name and appearance. I’m sure the “hotel sign police” will be here any moment now. So until next time this is Peppy Le’Peu signing off from Honulu, Hawaii. (That should fool them ;-))