The shaving industry is fast at work trying to revolutionize the shaving experience for both males and females; however, given that I don’t use women’s razors I’m not too concerned with that facet of the industry. I will therefore stick to covering the advancements to male grooming hygiene by these truly innovative and cutting edge manufacturers of shaving devices. The two biggest names in the razor/shaving industry are without a doubt Gillette and Schick, and if you don’t live under a rock, you’ve no doubt seen at least one commercial touting each of these companies finest shaving accomplishments. To date, this has been the Mach3 for Gillette and the Quattro for Schick. It’s been a bloody battle with each side trying to one-up the other in terms of technological advancement and finesse. The ultimate goal…. “The Closest Shave Ever!” Up until now, Schick has claimed to have the upper-hand with its Quattro razor which sports not 1… not 2… not even 3….. but 4… yes, count them…. 4 blades! It’s rival Gillette has only been able to muster up a measly 3 blades in its premiere razor, and with fewer blades, it certainly can’t boast as close a shave as Schick’s Quattro.
In spite of this, I’ve always been a Gillette man. I guess I’d pin that on the fact that Schick has never convinced me that they’re “The best a man can get”. Gillette is consistently making that claim, and I’m not too sure how one competes with that? Maybe if Schick were to change their slogan to, “The best a manly (not a pussy Gillette man) man can get!”, they might have a fighting chance. Until then, I’ll probably be sticking with my Gillette razor since a big company would never create a slogan based on anything but absolute truths to sell razors. That would just be crazy and certainly something that would never happen.
In keeping with their slogan, Gillette has made 2006 a year to remember. They have made what could very well be the greatest technological revolution to shaving in the entire history of humans. Yes, they managed to one-up Schick and have finally introduced a razor with 5 blades! It’s okay. Please sit back and take deep breaths. It truly is amazing. What good is another blade you might ask? It gives you the closest shave ever, of course! If you thought the innovations ended with an extra blade, then you’d better get ready for an even bigger shocker. They’ve also added a “Precision Trimmer” onto the backside of the razor cartridge, and this officially means that this new razor has not 5 but 6 actual blades! I am glad the extra blade is made for precision because it would really suck, if in trying to shave his sideburns, a guy shaved off his ear instead. You know… due to lack of precision. That would just hurt. Way to go Gillette! Let’s also not forget the “Flexible Comfort Guard” or “Enhanced Lubricator Strip” which might not be anything new, but I’m sure it took a team of brilliant engineers months to port these features to a razor with 6 blades!
All these crazy innovations in the shaving world have got me wondering, what in the world will they come up with next? What could give a closer shave than a razor with 5 blades? A razor with 6 blades perhaps. Nah, that would be heresy. In the meantime, they’ve got me on the edge of my seat just waiting to see what they’ll come up with next, but I just don’t know how they’re going to top this whole 5 bladed razor. I really don’t.
UPDATE: A friend recently pointed out a nice cartoon illustrating the absurdity of the razor industry. Check it out here.
Personally, I am holding out for eight blades. Until that day, I’ll stick with my Remmington electric.
Why stop at eight when you can go for 10? And after that it should have one on the top, bottom and sides. Therefore all you would have to do is look at the razor and your hair would just jump out of your skin from the fear of having to put it to your face!